


A Mysterious Thing Called Mistletoe

by Bugsy101



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Also Tugger really loves the kittenes, Chaos in the Junkyard, Cheek Kisses, Crack Fic, Etcetera has a crush on Tugger, F/M, Fluff, Holidays, Humour, It's mistletoe, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe, Munk is fed up with everyone, No one knows what it's actually called, Not all kisses are between couples though, Poor Etcetera, So yeah, The kittens are sweet, They're all terrified, This could be called a crack fic, You'll see..., it's very sweet, obviously, others are really not planned, some are platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28219155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bugsy101/pseuds/Bugsy101
Summary: Have you ever thought about what would happen if the Jellicles encountered mistletoe? When Skimbleshanks brings a mysterious object home to the Junkyard, no one knows how to react. Does this harmless human tradition become something fun for the whole tribe to enjoy? Or does it become a living nightmare?
Relationships: Alonzo/Cassandra (Cats), Demeter/Munkustrap (Cats), Jennyanydots/Skimbleshanks (implied), Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger (Cats)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	A Mysterious Thing Called Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something that came to me in the middle of the night. I knew that I wanted to do something fun for the holidays, so I began writing, and this is what I ended up with!  
> I also ended up writing for a few characters that I've never written before. I hope that I got them right. Still, I had fun, and that's what matters.  
> This is just supposed to be a fun, light-hearted story. It's really quite ridiculous, but, hey I had fun. :)  
> Without any further adieu, I present to you the story!  
> Enjoy!

“What is that?”

What indeed?

Skimbleshanks turned to Munkustrap, offended. “This – now, this is what humans call a missile toe.”

“A missile-what? Is it dangerous?” asked Munkustrap, trying to take a closer look at the thing – whatever it was.

“A miss-isle-toe!” gasped Skimbleshanks. But before he could further explain, he was thwarted by an obnoxious presence that had come to see what was the matter.

“A missile-what-now?” said the obnoxious presence, which was called by no other name than the Rum Tum Tugger.

Skimbleshanks sighed and repeated himself once more. Munkustrap furrowed his brow, and observing the strange plant carefully, said, “And…why have you brought this here then? It isn’t dangerous. Is it?”

More than a little fed up now, and sighing like he was, Skimbleshanks nodded towards the plant. “This is something that I see the humans at the train station take out every year. They hang it in the air from things like doorways, and then when they find themselves under it with another person, that means that they have to kiss each other.”

The two brothers stared.

“So…” Tugger began. “This is like…a game?”’

The orange tom nodded.

“What happens if you don’t kiss under the missile-toe?”

Skimbleshanks turned to Munkustrap who seemed very wary. “I must confess… I haven’t ever seen it not happen…so who knows?”

Munkustrap furrowed his brow, confused. “And why, exactly did you bring the missile-toe to the junkyard? It could be dangerous, Skimble! Dangerous! Does it explode? Is it poisonous? How will we know?”

Skimbleshanks held up a paw. “Relax, Munkustrap. I know what I’m doing. This will be fun for everyone, I’m sure of it.”

Letting out an unsure hum, Munkustrap shrugged his shoulders. “Have it your way. But if anything goes wrong, it’s for you to take care of. I shan’t have any part in it.”

Tugger rolled his eyes. “Munk, it’s fine. This is going to be fun! I trust Skimble.” The main coon turned back to the older tom. “Now … you say that if you’re caught under this contraption, with someone else, you have to kiss them, yes?”

Skimbleshanks nodded, cheerfully.

“Do you mind if I have a go at it? Maybe it could be like a bit of a test run?”

A few days passed, and word of the mysterious human object spread throughout the junkyard. Soon, everyone was waiting in fear for a time when they would be caught under it.

It didn’t take long before stories and rumors surrounding it began to pop up.

“I heard that one kiss under the missile toe will curse you to be forever unlucky in love!” 

The kittens all shrieked with fear as they listened to Rumpleteazer.

Mungojerrie, who hung a little ways back, walked up to join her. “Don’t be ridiculous, Teazer!” He turned back to the kittens with a small smirk on his face. “You’ll be forever unlucky in life! Not just love!”

A series of horrified shrieks resounded around them, and all of the kittens, got up and disappeared.

The pair fell back in uproarious laughter.

“What do you two think you’re doing?”

They both turned to see Mistoffelees standing there, suspicion written all over his face. 

“N-Nothing!” Rumpleteazer, gave him her best forced grin.

“Are you sure?” The black and white tom narrowed his eyes at them. “I don’t think that Munkustrap really appreciates this… You’re throwing the junkyard into a state of paranoia.”

Both Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer glanced at each other with wide eyes, and then at him.

Mungojerrie stepped forward. “Okay, okay! We’ll stop! But don’t say we didn’t warn everyone!”

Mistoffelees rolled his eyes, and walked away.

He walked alone for some time, and eventually found himself in a secluded part of the junkyard where he often enjoyed practicing his magic in private.

“Alright, then. Where was I?”

He took in a deep breath, and tried his best to focus his senses, but there was something that was … off.

The sound of a snapping twig came from somewhere to his right, and he jumped, narrowing his eyes. “…Hello? Is there someone here?”

The was another sound from behind him, and he turned around only to see nothing there.

He let out a shaky sigh and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Misto… You’re just paranoid.” He paused when he noticed something hanging above him on a stick.

“What in the name of Everlasting is that…?” 

Suddenly, there was a rustling sound from behind him. Mistoffelees turned around, only to come face to face with Tugger, who had a sly grin painted on his face.

Mistoffelees glanced up to realize that the strange plant-like object was now above both of them.

His eyes widened. “I-Is this… mistletoe?”

The grin on Tugger’s face widened.

“Oh no… No thank you!” Mistoffelees began to turn away, but Tugger stopped him.

“Come on … you can’t break the rules!”

Mistoffelees hated to say it… but a small smirk began to tug at his lips. He turned back around to face the large tom. “And what, may I ask would I get in return?”

The maine coon let out an impatient sigh. “Come on, Misto. I’m a pretty good kisser, if I do say so myself.”

“Sounds like you do…”

He glanced down with wide eyes at Mistoffelees, appalled. “You’re sounding pretty unconvinced. Just ask all of the other Jellicles that I’ve dated before! They’ll all tell you what a great kisser I am.”

Suddenly, Mistoffelees wrapped his arms around his neck, stood up on his tip-toes, and pressed a great big kiss to his mouth.

Tugger opened his eyes, wide when the smaller tom pulled away. “W-What…?”

Without any more word, Mistoffelees pulled back, and then walked away with a little swivel to his hips.

“Oh, he’s good.” Tugger breathed.

What he didn’t notice, was the form of a small queen lurking in the shadows, observing them, with wide eyes.

News of this encounter soon spread throughout the junkyard. It calmed the Jellicles down a bit to know that Mistoffelees had been a victim and seemed to be perfectly alright.  
They still remained uncertain, however, of this strange ritual that seemed to be lurking up on them.

Soon, the strange object fell into the paws of another Jellicle. 

Alonzo narrowed his eyes as he observed what Tugger was holding between his paws. 

“Is that the misty toe?” He asked, carefully.

Tugger turned to him and shook his head. “It’s miss-isle-toe, not misty toe.” A smirk came to his face. “Why do you ask?”

The black and white tom’s eyes opened. “What? No! I don’t want to… with you. I was just… wondering is all…” He turned away, and looked ahead.

“Do you want to borrow it?”

Alonzo’s shoulders dropped with relief and he turned to the main coon. “Could I?”

Tugger handed it to him. “It’s all yours, pal. Use it sparingly.”

He stood up, and walked away, leaving Alonzo sitting by himself on the tire.

Looking around, Alonzo searched for the one queen who he hoped to “woo.”

He grinned when his eyes landed on the form of Cassandra, who was lying alone on the top of the tire.

Making his way up to her, he stood there, but she didn’t seem to notice him.

“Ahem.”

The elegant queen looked up at him. A small smile appeared on her face. “Hey, ‘Lonz. What’s up?”

Taking a seat beside her, Alonzo held his secret weapon behind his back. “Nothing at all… How are you?” 

“I’m fine. A little bored, but… that’s not new.” Cassandra rested her chin in her paws and closed her eyes.

Taking advantage of the fact that she wasn’t looking, Alonzo raised the mistletoe, and held it in the air so that it was above both of their heads.

He stayed like that for a moment, as he listened to Cassandra rant about her day without even taking notice of what he was doing.

Soon, however Alonzo’s arm grew tired, and he was forced to drop it, back down.

‘Well,’ he thought to himself. ‘That was a fail.'

Suddenly, Cassandra sat up, and planted a big kiss to his cheek.

His eyes widened, and he turned to see her lying back down as though nothing had happened.

“Nice try, ‘Lonz. I don’t hand out kisses just because a silly plant says I have to.” She looked up at him, smirking. “I only kiss when I want to.”

Munkustrap let out a wide yawn as he sat on top of the tire, observing the kittens playing in the snow.

He had lost a lot of sleep over the past few nights because he had been trying, desperately, to calm the Jellicles who were panicking about this strange thistle-toe, or whatever it was called.

He turned his head as Alonzo came to join him. “Hey, ‘Lonz. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m wonderful.” His best friend seemed to be smiling, broadly to himself.

“I can tell…” Munkustrap narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Did Cassandra finally talk to you?”

Alonzo turned to him, and the smile on his face seemed to grow even bigger.”I guess you could say that…” He pulled out the mistletoe and placed it down in between them on the ground.

The grey tabby’s eyes widened. “You have the thistle toe?"

“Miss-isle-toe.” Alonzo corrected him.

“Well you have to put it away!” Munkustrap squeaked, still staring at it. “Someone irresponsible could get their paws on it!”

Letting out a big sigh, Alonzo shook his head. “Come on, Munk. I got it from Tugger. How much more irresponsible could one get?”

Munkustrap raised an eyebrow. “Ever heard of a certain Jerrie and Teazer? Or the kittens?”

“Pffft.” Alonzo waved his paw in the air. “It’ll be fine. I promise!”

Unconvinced, Munkustrap placed his paw over the mistletoe, and pulled it towards himself. “How about I take this? … I’m not sure if I trust you enough with it.”

Alonzo shook his head. “Fine. Just take it. But it’ll be fine, believe me.”

A while later saw Munkustrap once again sitting alone on the top of the tire.

He was enjoying watching the kittens wrestle around in the snow, when all of a sudden he found his eyes being drawn to the figure of Demeter over on the old car. She was sitting beside Bombalurina, and was currently laughing at some joke that the ruby red queen had let slip.

Suddenly, he found his eyes darting down to the mistletoe which lay at his feet, and then back up to the golden queen.

“What if…?” He spoke quietly to himself. His eyes widened, and he shook his head. “No! I refuse to think that way! I could never….”

Munkustrap gazed across the junkyard at Demeter, who he realized was looking in his direction as well. Their eyes met, and he instantly glanced away, nervously.

The mistletoe lay at his feet, and remained an annoying reminder of the temptation that he refused to give into.

“No! I shall not be tempted!” He picked up the mistletoe, and threw it somewhere behind him.

Instantly, Munkustrap regretted what he had done. What if someone found it? It could easily fall into the wrong paws.

He stood up, and began searching around, frantically for it, to no avail. 

“Come on…” He muttered under his breath. “Where is it?”

“It? You mean this?”

Munkustrap raised his head at the sound of another voice, and glanced up to see Demeter holding the mistletoe high above her head. “Demeter! U-Um, yes. I was looking for that… thank you.”

Suddenly, his eyes widened, when he realized that she was holding it up so that they were both standing under it.

“You-! How… WHAT?”

Demeter simply grinned up at him, before pressing a small kiss to his mouth. She pulled back, and her grin was even bigger than before when she realized that Munkustrap was blushing. “You know, I appreciate your thoughtfulness, Munkustrap, but I don’t mind it if you want to kiss me. She leaned closer with her grin still wide. “We’ve been mated for nearly a year now at this point.”

The blush deepened, and Munkustrap gave her a bashful smile. “Right… that does make sense, then. Doesn’t it?”

After that whole incident, Munkustrap hid the mistletoe in a small, secret place so that no one would be able to find it.

Until the next day, when a hungry Jemima was searching around for something to eat. She knew about the old shoe by the rusty car that her papa thought was secret; he would often hide some of his spare treats there. Little did he know, practically the entire junkyard knew about this spot, and would often come to steal things from it.

Jemima’s eyes widened when she saw the mistletoe. She pulled it out, ever so carefully, and held it up.

“I have to show everyone!” she whispered to herself.

That was where she was now. A secret meeting with the other kittens in a secluded corner of the junkyard.

“Is that… the miss-isle-toe?” Pouncival’s eyes widened.

Jemima nodded, proudly as she held it up. “I found it in my papa’s not-so-secret hiding place.

Electra nodded her head, understandingly. “Someone should probably tell him about that. I think that everyone knows about it, don’t they Jemmie. Still… what do you want us to do with this?”

“I propose that we do the responsible thing, and get rid of it.” The young kitten stared at it. Her eyes were wide. “I’m finding myself struggling to resist the temptation.”

There were several resounding hums of agreement.

“What about you, Cettie?” Tumblebrutus spoke up. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”

The young queen turned to the others with wide eyes, “Y-Yes! We should get rid of it… definitely.”

Electra stood up and grabbed the mistletoe from Jemima. “That’s settled, then. We’ll dispose of it as soon as possible.” 

She turned and walked towards a large trashcan that the humans would often throw useless things into.

“Electra, be careful!” Jemima cried out, as the young queen climbed up the side of the garbage can, and threw the mistletoe into it.

She landed back on the ground, breathing heavily.

“It’s gone.” Pouncival sighed, relieved. “It’s over.”

They all let out a great sigh of relief.

“I’m hungry.” He blurted out. “Let’s get food.”

The kittens all ran off in the direction of their dens.

Neither of them noticed that Etcetera stayed behind, gazing up at the trash can where the mistletoe had been discarded.

Tugger hummed happily as he walked through the junkyard by himself. 

The past few days had been great for him. He had finally managed to kiss Mistoffelees, and move forward in their relationship, and now, he was on his way to meet up with him so that they could go on a private walk together.

A small shiver ran up his spine, as the feeling of being watched suddenly struck him.

He paused, and turned around, to see nothing. A small smirk appeared on his lips. “Misto? Is that you? If you’re trying to get me back, then you can stop now. Come down and kiss me then if you want, you lily-livered cur, you! I know that you’re there.”

No sound came in response, and he furrowed his brow. 

“Okay… This is strange.”

Tugger shook his head, and turned back around.

He froze. There was a squeaking sound coming from above him.

Glancing up, his eyes widened when he noticed the mistletoe hanging above his head. It seemed to be suspended by a string that was attached to a stick.

Tugger looked back down, and jumped when Etcetera’s hopeful face came into view.

“Cettie!” His croaked. “What are … what are you doing?”

The young queen grinned and then looked up towards the mistletoe.

“Oh… you want me to kiss you? Okay then. I guess that I have to, then.” He gulped. “I will, but just one.”

Etcetera held out her cheek, eagerly.

Just as he was about to reach her, there was a loud shout from behind him.

“Tugger! No! You mustn’t give in to its power!”

He pulled away and turned around to see Munkustrap running towards him, frantically. “But, Munkustrap,” he began. “I have to! Something bad might happen if I don’t!”

The silver tabby shook his head, and bent over, gasping for air. “I managed to resist it once. Nothing has happened to me.” He turned towards Etcetera and placed his paws on her shoulders. “Etcetera, listen to me! Snap out of this! You don’t have to do this. You mustn’t let the power of the miss-lee-tone tempt you!”

The small queen looked up a him, and then towards Tugger. “But…I want to!”

“You must fight it!” Munkustrap cried, frantically. “Close your eyes, and take a deep breath.”

As Etcetera did this, he motioned towards Alonzo who slowly removed the mistletoe from above them. Alonzo began walking away, but he tripped on a rock, and tumbled to the ground.

“Alonzo, are you alright?” Tugger ran up to the black and white tom and helped him to his feet.

“Yeah… I think I am.” He stood then his feet, and in the process, accidentally raised his arms.

Both Alonzo and Tugger’s eyes widened, and they stared up in horror at the mistletoe.

“Oh no…” They both muttered, before slowly leaning in. They kissed, and pulled away as quickly as possible.

Trying not to gag, Alonzo pulled the mistletoe away, and turned around to come face to face with a very frustrated looking Jennyanydots.

“What in the name of Heaviside is happening here?” She cried.

Her eyes widened when she saw what Alonzo was holding, and she grabbed it from him, holding it up to her eyes.

Alonzo tried to grab it back. “No, Jenny. Don’t!” But it was too late.

Jennyanydots realized her mistake. “Oh, goodness! I’m sorry! I didn’t even think twice.”

Alonzo pressed a quick peck to her lips, before tearing the mistletoe away, and handing it to Munkustrap, who was very careful not to hold it up. At this point, they seemed to have attracted half the junkyard because of the commotion that they were making.

“Okay!” Munkustrap announced to everyone. “This is the last straw! This misto-toon, or whatever it’s called, is severely dangerous! We have to get rid of it once and for all!”

Everyone else nodded their agreement.

“Skimbleshanks! Where are you?” the protector called.

The orange tom poked his head around the corner. “…Yes?”

Everyone turned to him, and Munkustrap held out the mistletoe for him to take. “I believe that I said that if anything went wrong then it would be your fault. I stand by my words.”

Slowly, Skimbleshanks padded up, and took the mistletoe from Munkustrap. “I’m sorry for all the chaos that I caused,” he spoke quietly.

Jennyanydots walked up to him, and placed a comforting paw on his shoulder. “Oh, Skimble… It’s alright! You never meant any harm! I’ll come with you to dispose of this – or put it to good use. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

The orange tom beamed at her, and nodded, before the pair turned and walked away.

Everyone seemed to let out a simultaneous sigh of relief.

“I can’t believe it!” Tugger laughed. “It’s finally over!” He ran up to Mistoffelees , and embraced him, tightly.

Suddenly, he pulled away, and turned to Etcetera who stood, quietly, staring at the ground.

He approached her, slowly. “Hey, Cettie.” He called, softly. “You okay?”

The small queen glanced up at him with wide eyes, and nodded, slowly. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry though… I didn’t mean to stress anyone out.”

“Hey, that’s fine!” He chuckled. A grin appeared on his face when he saw a small smile pulling at her mouth.

Suddenly, without any warning, he leaned in, and pressed a big kiss to the small queen’s cheek.

Etcetera’s eyes widened, and she turned to him with a great big grin on her face.

Happy at last, she skipped off to join the other kittens.

The Jellicles all retreated back to their respective dens for the night. They could relax at last.


End file.
